Okay, so I wasn't going to blog about the Bachelor this season, for a few reasons. One, it takes time and energy. Both of which I don't feel I have tons of in the evening lately. Two, I'm planning on watching some of the episodes with some girlfriends (the premier party was OH SO FUN!) and so I am able to spout off about the ridiculousness in person often enough. And three, well, it's Nick, and he's gross, and to be honest I wasn't sure how much of this season I would be fast forwarding anyway. So, I didn't blog about the premier (remember: oh so fun premier party, and you're all invited to my other parties BTW), but there was lots to laugh about and plenty to make you cringe about! I had my favorites, Vanessa our Russian speaking special ed teacher and Danielle M the darling short haired blond baby nurse!
The next episode (last weeks) was such a disappointment. Really. It was gross. And it made me ill to think that women have been so warped by media to think that sex is the best way to get a guy. It was classless and nasty. Ya know, I've always joked that watching The Bachelor was my dirty little secret, but despite a couple weird/disturbing group dates and the ridiculous fantasy suite episodes, for the most part it's just silly fun. But I ended watching last week thinking, yuck. One night stands and Janet Jackson magazine cover poses were not funny or entertaining. Just sad.
But here I am watching the next episode, hoping (fingers crossed!!) that things will be better. I want my light hearted ridiculous dating show back. Well about 20 minutes into the show I couldn't keep myself from picking up the computer to laugh with SOMEONE out there about what I was seeing!!
So we started off with the rose ceremony. It was a To Be Continued last week. I'm not going to even comment about Corinne and how she represents everything that is wrong in the world. Someone take that girl and teach her she has more assets than her assets. She luckily she slept through the rose ceremony (who does that??), and he kicked off 3 girls. On to the rest of the show.
The first group date card arrives and it goes to pretty Hawaiian looking Danielle L, Christen (who I think will end up as "the good friend" rather than the "girlfriend), Russian orphan turned beauty pageant contestant Christina, sweet looking Whitney, gorgeous Indian with rad braided bun Taylor, intense dallas cowboys cheerleader Jasmine, and Corinne (an unexcited yay is mumbled by a couple of the girls). And then the music starts and the Backstreet Boys, looking as old as I feel, walk in to the room of 20 something squealing girls. Nothing new to them. I'm fairly certain AJ had a black toupee on. Brian needs a little help from that spray on hair company to fill in the male pattern baldness that the camera happened to focus on way to often. I had to look up their names to type that. I was more of a NSYNC kind of girl. I'm actually surprised these Bachelorettes know who these guys are. They were cool when I was a kid/teenager, like 50 years ago. Sarah exclaimed "Twelve year old me is dying on the inside", pretty sure she was 12 about 2 years ago, but what evs. Maybe they're all really into "the classics". So they're all so excited as they show up in their lycra to learn to dance with the Backstreet Boys. While the other girls did a great job shaking their booty and trying to learn the steps, Corinne was off crying because she looked like a chicken trying to do the moves. Can't say I feel bad for her. At the concert Danielle got picked to slow dance awkwardly with Nick alone on the stage while they were being serenaded. Not romantic. The after party started with Corinne in a dress, was it a dress? it was missing most of the skirt, stealing him for some alone time first. Her nanny needs to sew the missing part back on. Yes, her nanny, no she doesn't have children. Jasmine must have a lot of double sided tape keeping her dress from flopping open. We got a peek at the roaming hands of Nick Viall during his one on one time with Danielle! Wowsers dude, I think that's the first bum slap I've seen on this show. ugh he's gross. But he liked what he had in his hands, and gave her the rose.
The one on one went to my girl Vanessa! (Yes that means my 2 favorites got the first two one on one dates). If only he was good enough for these girls. They actually had a super cool date, getting to experience zero gravity in a plane. She was darling bouncing around, until she puked! But for the first time I liked Nick, cuz he was super sweet taking care of her and reassuring her, puke bag after puke bag. Once the nausea subsided they met up on a rooftop sky rise, and over their fake food Nick sheds tears as he discusses his vulnerability. THIS is why this guy captures the hearts of so many girls. They have an intimate moment, sharing their optimism in this crazy adventure and he gives her the rose. I like her. A lot. For someone else.
Next group date goes to smart and driven Rachel (who got the first impression rose), loud and obnoxious New Jersey girl Alexis (who thinks sharks are dolphins), as weird as her name Astrid, ring in the nose Jaime (who may be confused if she's here to date Nick or one of the girls), if I were to cut my hair I'd cut it like hers Sarah, Brittney, and Dominique (got nothin' for those last two). It's a Nick-athalon with 3 Olympic gold medalists. The prize is makeout time in a hot tub, but you have to wear your nasty lycra workout clothes into the water. No time for a swim suit change apparently. Astrid won the race, kind of, and later also won WORST outfit ever on the history of this show (one weird pantsuit). Dominique pushed Nick too hard about showing her more attention and was told to leave. And Rachel, who I love, got the next rose. Another girl who deserves better, but she's been added to my list of favs. I never know if I should root for the coolest girls this season. Man I really wish we had a different Bachelor.
Chris announces no cocktail party, instead Nick wants a pool party. Surprise. Surprise. I'll just say 3 words. Corinne. Bounce. House. This is me rolling my eyes and then pushing the fast forward button on my remote! Vanessa said it best when she cornered him and asked "are you here for a wife or just to mess around" (okay she used a different word, but I prefer this one). We're all wondering the same thing. Things were left off in the To Be Continued status. Boo.
So are you all still watching? If so, do you dare root for an awesome girl to get an awful guy? Or do some of you out there actually like him? If so enlighten me.
And see, now its way after midnight and I have to be waking up a kid for school by 6:40. What was I thinking staying up to write this? 😳
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