Jake Calls the Crazies Out

I love when I can drag my husband into watching the Bachelor with me. His comments are so dang funny... though I haven't included any of them, they're not exactly pc.

So, they start off this episode in the ladies house, apparently in the wee hours of the morning, cuz like nobody had makeup on or had their hair done (Elizabeth still looked hot). Vienna gets the first one on one date. Nobody is happy about that. Sounds like with Roz gone, she's the one the girls don't like now. Jake picks her up on the death trap motorcycle. And where does the motorcycle take them? To the helicopter of love... The Bachelor and their helicopter rides. Jake is keeping their destination a secret, but whatever it is, Jake isn't excited about it. Poor guy looks like he's gonna puke, and I'm pretty sure it's not the flying factor. Then you see it, a 300 foot bridge with a bungee attached to it. Okay, so I'm no fan of bungee jumping, but I'm seriously amazed that he's getting all freaked out about the bungee jumping. Yes, our heroic pilot is afraid of heights. They're both so freaked out, they're getting teathered together and to the bungee, clinging on for dear life...oh so romantic, NOT. Who picked out this date?! But they do it. They launch themselves off, both of them squealing. And then what do they do when they're hanging upside down? Make out of course. Vienna lucked out, cuz I think that near death expereince bonded them. Why else would he kiss someone who looks like a guy? Well, after that they were off to dinner at his house (did it look familiar to anyone else? That was Jason's pad too). There they did some hot tubbin'. I think he's actually likin' her... but I still think she looks like a transvestite.

That night she comes home to the girls and begins to BRAAAAG about how incredible her date was with him. Everyone was shocked that she came home with a rose! Ali included. Me too Ali! Me too!

Next we're onto the group date. Ew a comedy club date. This would be the worst date ever. They have to get on stage and be funny in front of an audience. I would hate that. DUMB date! Nobody really shined, though I was totally shocked by Elizabeth being "totally raunchy." Honestly I don't even know what her jokes were about because the majority of what she said was #$&#@ out. Michelle's act was bizarre. Do I need to say it again... she is crazy!! And Corrie surprised me with her jokes about the girls in the house, focusing mainly on Vienna.

After their awful try at comedy they had a fondue party. YUM! Tenley pulls him aside and tells him about her divorce. If any of you saw the commercials earlier this week and saw the line where Tenley tells him she's pregnant, this is where they got it. They just didn't show it for some reason. Apparently she opened up their conversation with a joke that she was pregnant, but then right after told him she was kidding. Maybe she was hoping it would soften the blow of her divorce. But I don't think she needed it. She said it well. I think she's a sweetie.

The next couple of one on one time conversations were mostly about the girls talking smack about Vienna. Then Michelle got her one on one time with him and was, you guessed it, TOTALLY CRAZY again! I totally agreed with Elizabeth when she said "I don't think Michelle needs a husband I think she needs a therapist." Michelle asks to kiss him, for herself, to see if he's right for her. There's a long pause (maybe Jake was pondering his safety) and then they kiss... a dead fish kiss. She picks up on his lack of excitement (not the "hair pulling" passion she was hoping for) and says "that's it?!" He's annoyed. "I'm almost ready for this night to be over" he says and then tells her to go....home!!! There you go Jake! Show us you've got a spine! So right then and there he walks her out of the building to a cab. One crazy down, about 10 more to go. Jake then goes up to tell the other girls that "The moment I know someone isn't right for me I'll let you know, you don't have to wait for a rose ceremony". Me and the hubs are likin' Jake more and more.

Next is Ella's one on one date... off they go in ANOTHER freakin' helicopter, to Sea World they fly, where Jake surprises Ella with a visit from her 7 year old son. They feed sea lions, play with penguins and swim with dolfins. How do you not give a rose to a girl after a date like that. It would be like rejecting her son. So after popping the little guy in a car, they gaze at each other and go in for a passionate hug. Later than night he does go in for a quick kiss but it was lacking in the steamy department. Sorry old lady, but I don't think you'll be there for too long.

Now on to the rose ceremony, Ali is so cute in her pink dress... though we've been seeing a new side of her. She's not all sweet peaches and cream. Jake takes some one on one time with Elizabeth and he totally calls her out!! He's onto her games and calls her a tease! Where did this guy get so bold. Finally the guy grows some.... guts! And I totally agreed with Jake's theory about her that she WAS trying to control a situation where usually you don't have any control. Of course there was much more drama than this during it all, lots of girls ranting about getting time with Jake, some crying, meaness amoungst the ladies, you know, the usual rose ceremony.

So who did he keep? Gia, Corrie, Tenley, Ali, Jessie (WHO IS SHE?), Kathryn, Ashley... and NO ELIZABETH! (and Vienna and Ella got roses on their dates)

Now the teaser (I'm starting to think this is one of the best parts of the show): Looks like one crazy roadtrip. It shows him actually asking Chris if HAS to give out all the roses. HA! And I'm calling it, I think Gia is going home next week (compare the shirt Jake's wearing on his date with her date and the scene with him throwing a rose in the fire.)