Snow, Glow and No Clothes

So last night was another Bachelor special.  I could get used to 2 Bachelors a week!  It was a "behind the scenes" episode.  Nothin' too exciting, just watched Juan Pablo play with his daughter in the fake snow, and a whole lotta naked hippie girl.

We start out tonight's episode with always so happy Claire getting the first one on one date.  She choked up just talking about her first date with Mr Wonderful, and then got ready, sportin' her leather aviator jacket (a logical choice for the summer in CA?).  Juan gets the girls all giggly as he arrives to pick Clair up and puts a "crrrazy" blindfold on her and heads to their surprise winter wonderland date... cuz snow is soooo romantic, unless you live in it for like 5 months of the year.  They could've had their date in our backyard, looks just like where they were playing.  Gosh maybe all Bry and I need is some time in our backyard for date night.  Well the date was pretty much an abundance of squealing, giggling and declarations of how she was ready to be vulnerable.  Somehow, the winter wonderland date also squeezes in a steamy hot tub rub down.  And Juan Pablo "had very very good time wit" Claire and gave her a rose.  After some kissing, and a "you taste like snow" comment (huh?),  the two of them exit their hot tub and run in bikini and swim trunks, through the snow to dance to their very own concert.  I know it was supposedly warm outside despite the snow, but dang, it just looked so cold.

Back at the Bachelorette pad there are more topless shots of our dippy hippie and then the next date card arrives  (instead of the weird table sitting outside the door, Molly the dog brings it in).  The next one on one date goes to Kat.  She boringly chooses a chambray shirt and white short shorts and hops onto a private jet with Juan Pablo.  As she's guessing what exotic location they're heading to, Juan changes into a light up neon sweatsuit.  When she asks for her outfit he hands her about 1 foot of stretchy material that is supposedly an outfit.  Apparently this bit of spandex glows too.  Funny enough the plane lands in none other than Salt Lake City!  Juan Pablo and Kat are suddenly at the starting line of the electric run (no, you do not get off a plane in SLC and in seconds are in a neon wonderland).  Where was this???  And why didn't I know about it???  Looks like a fun run at Thanksgiving Point!  Bry and I would've gotten DOWN with the Bachelor if we'd known about it!.  Man, a light up neon dance/running party, don't we just look like a fun state!  Well all the bumping and grinding paid off and Kat got a rose in front of a sea of totally excited Utahns'.

Group Date Time.  Chelsie, Kristy, Kelly, Cassandra, Andie, Renee, Lauren, Allie, Chantel, Nikki, Elyse, Victoria and Lucy, the "lucky 13" start the day off with champagne in the limo (some of those girls were gonna need some liquid confidence).  Their date is basically a sexy photo shoot with dogs... for a good cause.  What?  We've got afros, girls in fire hydrant costumes, a painted bald gal and then 2 of the girls get stuck wearing a sign... an itty bitty sign,  like, that's it.  Nothin' else.   I want to give a HUGE high five to Elyse who traded with happily naked dippy hippy.  Even if she had to wear the ridiculous hydrant, the girl stuck to what she felt was right.  Poor Andie was understandably freakin' out over being stuck in her sign... that is until Juan Pablo told her he would be naked right along with her.... and it's for a good cause.  Now, WHY did this make her feel more comfortable???   This portion of the shoot should be called "Porn, it's for a good cause".  WHa?  Ridiculous.  So glad when that mess was over.

The after party started all the one on one moments.  Cassandra shared that she has a 2 year old son (nothin' pulls on Ol' Juan Pablo's heart strings more!).  Renee (still looks like Kate Middleton) is totally cool.  I sure like her.  Hope JP does (did anyone catch the girls calling him that? Much easier).  Victoria is the designated drunk for the night.  Ugly.  Juan likes Nurse Nikki, why wouldn't he!  Renee plays mama, like mamas do, and tries to take care of slurring, swearing Victoria.  Oh it was one big advertisement for sobriety.  Not sure why Kelly got the rose at the end of it all (have you noticed her "job" is Dog Lover).  And the date ended with NO kissing!  Is this a Bachelor first?  Needless to say, once Victoria sobered up JP told her it was time to go home.  Drunk mama ain't gonna work for little Camilla Chimichanga.

Rose ceremony:  Amy starts off her one on one time with her freaky smile and the lamest reporter role play.  Sharleen, in another rockin' dress (though she MUST be using some double sided tape to keep it from flashing her girls) apologizes for her lack of excitement over the first impression rose.  She blames it on utter shock.  She's intelligent and stylish and her lack of desperation and annoying perma smile makes me like her.  As the night moves on Cassandra starts to breakdown and again it's Renee to the rescue.  I like the wood floors... wonder if that's walnut?  Opps sorry, house building hazard again.  JP calms Cassandra down, they bond over the kid thing and then it's off to giving out roses.  A calmer Cassandra gets the first one, then of course Nurse Nikki, then Andi (the naked gangsta lawyer), modest Elyse, Stylin' Sharleen, Mama Renee (my fav), Danielle (who in the world is she?  Has she been here the whole time?), Dippy hippie, Allison, Chelsie, Lauren (haven't seen her either) and Kristy.  Soooo our reporter Amy will have to go home and report on her broken heart (her smile scares me).  And Shhhhhantel also said goodbye.  Who's your favorite so far?