The Sure Thing Wins

Well this may be short and sweet since I spent the evening watching the finale with actual people!!  Yes, I had my finale party and it was SOOOOOO fun having real live people to make fun of the show with!  But now it's like midnight, so I'll make this quick.

It's the end of season.  I'm so sad.  I'm not ready for this to end.  Chris isn't ready either.  He's deeply confused.  I think it's his heart against his head.  Becca has his heart, but the stable Whitney guarantee has convinced his brain (hey at least he's not thinking with another part of his body, something other Bachelors have been guilty of!)

So now it's time for the Meet the Parents dates.  Whitney is up first.  She's decided flannel is the best choice for a day at the farm.  She's great with the family, oh so perky, lots of laughing and heartfelt moments that bring tears to everyone's eyes.  Everyone loves her.  No surprise there.  Besides that nails on chalkboard voice of hers, she's perfect.

And now it's time for Becca, in her chambray shirt and black skinnies, a box of cookies to share, she's one dynamite gal.  Yep, not hiding my favorite.  But the family can see her hesitation.  I was cheering on Mama Soules (does she remind anyone else of a happier Marilla Cuthbert, from Anne of Green Gables?) when she spoke so frankly about what love is and that Becca is going to lose it if she doesn't take a chance.  Can I get an Amen!

So for Becca's last date, all they do is spend a few hours in Becca's hotel room.  What?  That's lame.  She looks amazing in her off one shoulder sparkly sweater and for some reason he never takes off his coat/sweater thing.  It's most apparent here, how desperate he is to hear her tell him that she wants him, and apparent how much he loves her.  But she just can't give him anything but lame "I don't know" answers.  Come on Becca!  You're a chiropractic assistant!  Is that so great that you don't feel he's worth taking a chance for??  I want to shake those sequined shoulders til she sees things clearly!  But at least she's being honest, I guess. Does anyone else find themselves staring at her awesome hair?  Well at least she's got that going for her, cuz I'm pretty sure she just lost Chris.

The last date for Whitney was WAAAAY better!   It's harvesting time and Whitney cheers at the opportunity to go pick corn in this "nippley" weather!  How can he resist this kind of enthusiasm, not just for his farming, but for him.  She's ALL in, she loves him, she wants all of him, the farm, the tiny town, the chance to make babies with him.  She's a sure thing.  That night she attempts to wear bright pink lipstick (maybe she borrowed a tube from Kaityln) and it's not my favorite on her.

The proposal location is darling, a red barn, all dolled up with chandeliers and stain glass windows.  I have a feeling he's going to pick the guarantee.  The first limo pulls up, we're all holding our breath, the door opens and the dress is….. RED!  NOOoooooooO!  It's Becca's stunning red velvet gown.  I'm so disappointed.  He loves her!  We all know it!  He gets emotional as he tells her goodbye.  She expresses her sadness with her stone faced, no crying way that got her into this mess in the first place.

So.  It's Whitney.  Her stiff deep navy off the shoulder dress and perfectly swept up hair bores me.  She fought a good fight and she won.  Whatever.  He proposes to her.  She says yes.  Time to ditch the dresses and put on the overalls hon.  No matter how many times I watch Bachelor finales, I can't ever get over the mind boggling fact that you could propose (or say yes to a proposal) when YESTERDAY that person was confused about loving another person!  Quite the recipe for success.

After the Rose!  Chris, in a not so convincing voice, says he's "pumped, so pumped" about being engaged.  Uh huh.  You keep telling yourself that.  As Chris Harrison asks Farmer Chris about Becca, lets be honest, I think he still pines after her a bit.  And as Becca comes out in a hot little fuchsia dress, and he hugs her tightly, and breathes her in, you know it was hard for him!   Whitney is smart not to watch the past episodes, she'd see how close she got to NOT having a ring on her finger (and if she watches tonight's episode she'll see how close she got to flashing the entire nation with that super SHORT dress she was wearing!)  And who did her makeup for the After the Rose!!??  Whoever it was gave her an ashy mustache!  Yikes!  That fuchsia dress is looking better and better isn't it Chris?  I pretty much tuned the rest of the evening out, lots of Whitney talking and Chris nodding (I see the pattern for the rest of their lives).  Then Jimmy Kimmel arrives to brighten things up with his gift of a cow named Juan Pablo (did you catch the "he doesn't speak English either" and "Eees Okay" comments!!  HA!).  And then the earth shattering news of who will be the new Bachelorette….. is it Britt?  Is it Kaitlyn?  Can't decide? Neither could the Bachelorette crew, so let's have BOTH!  Still not clear on how that's gonna work.  Sounded like the guys are going to decide on the first night which girl to keep.  I'm rooting for Kaitlyn.  As they bring both girls to the stage I can't help but wonder what happened to the makeup artist for this show?!  Britt didn't even look like herself, actually she looked more like Topanga from Boy Meets World without her usual eye makeup and freshly cut mane.  And neither girl had their signature bright pouty lipsticked lips!  I'm kinda over both girls to be honest.  But maybe come May I'll be ready to see them again.  Let's be honest, of course I will.




And for your viewing pleasure, oh how we'll miss Chris' eloquence!