The Mean Girls Have Arrived

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So tonight the mean girls arrived on the scene.  Groups of the ladies are gathered to gab about each other all over the mansion.  One gaggle is discussing the "fact" that supposedly Olivia spent $40,000 on clothes!!  Yowza!  Maybe that includes makeup cuz, wow, she looks really different without her makeup.  I'm not bagging on that at all.  I do too.  You should see the zit I've been covering up for the last few days!

When the highly anticipated date card shows up at the door we see it's a one on one for Lauren B!  Yay!  Ben must have read my last post!!!  I so wanted to get to know her better!  He arrives in a classic topless mustang.  Totally hot car, but I feel so sorry for Lauren cuz she's got long gorgeous hair, well at least it was gorgeous before it was flying all over the place at 70m miles per hour!  She's a flight attendant but funny enough she was totally freaked out by the tiny stunt airplane that they're going for a ride in. I guess that's quite different than the usual 747.  But oh she is just so sweet!   How could he NOT be totally into her as they're squished into a tiny cockpit together.  They zip through the sky, trying to keep down lunch I'm sure, and do a fly by over the jealous bachelorettes lounging lazily at the pool below.  The tight quarters on the plane made it easy to squeeze in a couple sweet kisses, though their microphones got in the way a few times.  After they're dropped off in the middle of nowhere, but this nowhere magically has a famous Bachelor hot tub all primed and ready for them to make out in. Love her darling messy bun.  My hair never looks that good after wind and being in a hot tub. That night for dinner Lauren dressed up in a darling white lace dress.  He could've done better than a bland brownish vneck.  They ate (actually, they pretended to eat again, what is up with not touching the food in front of them!) and talked family and family values.  It's so nice to see the Bachelor opening up as much as the Bachelorette.  He has such a tender heart.  And now they're off to another private concert where he dances and makes out with Lauren.  Oh they're both so darling and perfect for each other.  I like that he likes nice girls.

Group date card is for Amanda, Haley Jennifer, Shushanna, Leah, Amber, Lauren H, Olivia, Jami, Rachel, Lace and Emily and it's at the Los Angeles Colosseum.  It's a lycra and spandex party, with some soccer thrown in.   And the competition begins, winning team gets to go to the after party, losers head back to the mansion.  It reminded me of watching my 6 year old's soccer games.  The losers hobbled home in tears while the winners (Lace, Amber, Olivia, one of the twins (not sure which one), Jami and Leah) get to dress up and fight over time with Ben.  Olivia steals him first, surprise surprise, while the other ladies discuss her ugly toes (is that really all they can come up with).  I'm liking Olivia less and less, and it has nothing to do with her toes.  Confidence can be so beautiful on a woman, but being overly confident, no bueno.  Weirdly Amber got a kiss and the rose that night, even though I was reading his body language as totally not into her.

The last one on one date goes to an ecstatic and totally unsuspecting Jubilee.  Dressed in a white mock turtleneck and white cropped sweatpants with heels…eek… you can tell she is super nervous.  The first helicopter of love of the season has arrived to pick Jubilee and Ben up and took them to a gorgeous health spa for the day.  A day of pampering and fancy food is awesome, but it's not always good when you have to spit out your food in front of the guy you like before you throw it up.  Yep caviar is much different than hotdogs girlfriend.  She looked pretty darn good in her gold bikini but her nails really scare me. She could stab someone with those things.  That night, in her leather and lycra mini, Ben gets deep with Jubilee, talking about her hard past.  And her many layers wins her the rose.

Cocktail party/Rose ceremony: Ben looking nicely shaven, announces that he has learned that 2 of his family friends have tragically died, and Olivia sees this as the perfect time to steal him away to discuss her cankles.  Say what?!  Where are her nurturing qualities?  Jubilee on the other hand knows how to care for a grieving man.  Now I know all the girls were aghast at her idea to put Ben on a massage table and give him a rub down, but I have to hand it to that gal, what man can resist that kind of love and tenderness?  My husband would LOVE me to do that when he's sad or frustrated about something.  Smart girl.  Sometimes I am deeply embarrassed for these girls, I can't even call them ladies, cuz they're not acting like it.  They're ganging up on Jubilee like immature teenagers cuz, lets be honest they're jealous.  Poor Ben looks exhausted from all drama.  Then in a surprise event, Lace pulls Ben aside and tells him she needs to go home.  Whoa!  Was not expecting that!  But I gotta give her props for realizing this scene isn't the best for her.  Maybe she's not as crazy as we all think she is!  I just hope Ben is more relieved than insecure about another girl choosing not to be there.  He is just such a nice guy!!

And the roses go to:  Wanna Be Soccer mom Lauren H, sweet Amanda who needs some more camera time!, Becca who I'm hoping will get the next one on one date, the Taylor swift twins (come on two on one), Rachel (meh), Caila the other nice girl, Jo Jo, Jennifer, Leah and Olivia (I was so hoping for a blindside but maybe their "secret unspoken language" isn't totally in her head….wait no, we all know it is.  Goodbye weird pantsuit girl Shushanna and Jami, in a cute blue slip dress, who is going to stop expecting anything from humans (huh?).

Looking forward to the all the crazies next week!!