No Rose For You... or you... or you

It's another early morning at the ladies house. Chris comes in with a few announcements. First, the dates, there will be 1 one on one date, 1 group date and 1 two on one date (look of fear crosses their faces... oooh the dreaded 2 on 1 date where somebody is sure to go home). Then the big surprise, 2 big RVs are waiting for them outside, they're going on a road trip. And these RV's aren't just for travel (if that was the case there would've been 8 helicopters of love waiting) but they will be livin' in the RVs as they travel up the coast of CA. Of course the gals divide up into the Vienna-haters bus and those-who-tolerate-Vienna bus. Off they go to meet Jake in the wilderness of some vineyards. Camping outdoors is part of who he is, Jake says, and he wants to make sure the gals can rough it too (yes, I'm sure they were really "roughing" it in their fully stocked RVs). He quickly says his hellos to the ladies and then leaves the one on one date card and it's for Gia.

Their date begins with us watching Jake pretend to shave and get dressed. Gia, in all her New York fabulousness, keeps her stilletos on and looks oh so pretty in her kimono like shirt. But I noticed she kicked those stilletos off as soon as they were off to the vineyard, I mean who can play hide and seek in heels? Their childhood game didn't last long consdidering all you have to do is look down towards the ground to see through the vines, but it was effective... he found her, she squeeled, pretended to run, he cuaght her and she wrapped her skinny legs around him.
A perfect fairytale according to Jake. Then after discussing their sad childhoods (she was a nerd that got her books stolen and he was nicknamed Mr Dateless) they decide to play another childhood game, spin the bottle. Apparently that game is better as adults, because she said their kiss was "the best kiss of her life". All that game playing makes ya hungry so they're off to cook some hotdogs and smores over a fire. Jake was a little nervous about feeding the girl hotdogs, but I'm pretty sure they have those in NY too. I actually think the gal from New York did quite good on this "roughin' it" date. She let her hair down (or pulled it up in a pony tail), told him she wants 3 kids (one adopted) and a pot belly pig. They may be different but I think it just may work... though I hope Gia understands most camping isn't that glamorous. I don't know about Jake, but I'm falling in love with Gia. And she got a rose.

Next is the group date in Pismo Beach! I LOVE Pismo! And I'm wishing Ali would stop focusing on Vienna and just focus on Jake. Keep your eye on the prize honey. They start off by driving/riding in dune buggies. And then some sand surfing. Though fun, there's not a lot of time to bond with the Bachelor. After getting a face full of sand with Tenlye he said he was "naturally drawn to Tenley". Me and the hubs agree. She's such a cutie. Then Jake suggested that they all roll down a hill (he really likes to make sure they are okay with getting dirty). Corrie is the only one that took that bait and off they went, WRESTLING down the hill over and over again. Smart move Corrie. After that they're off to the Madonna inn where they could shower and get the sand out of all their crevices. Now the one on one time begins. Ashleigh and Jake finally had some time alone... some AKWARD time alone. THey had nothin' to talk about even when she was draped over him, petting and stroking him, it didn't work. He just isn't feeling it. Then he tries to pull Vienna away for some one on one time but she tells him NO that she wants to have the last one on one for the night. SERIOULSY? Uh oh Vienna, you're letting Jake see what the girls see. So instead he's off with Ali, who needs to stop thinking about the game of it all (that seems to be the only thing she talks about, even with him). Advice for anyone wanting to go on the Bachelor: during your alone time, focus on him and you. Not on the other crazy ladies. It ALWAYS backfires. Then he's got his one on one time with Tenley's boob. He had his head in her lap the whole time and half the shots are of him and her chest. I didn't even catch what their conversation was about because it was oh so distracting. Apparently the other girls' one on one's weren't very exciting because suddenly he's off with Vienna. And I LOVED it! Jake totally calls her out, ''I know the other women kind of a give you a hard time...but I've gotta tell you, I think you egg it [on] and bring it on yourself.... Sometimes it's better just to not say anything." Amen! And all he handed out to her was quick peck. I don't think he'll be going to bed dreaming about Vienna, liked she hoped. And the rose, goes to Tenley!

Then to Big Sur for the two on one date with Kathryn and Ella... and I'm calling it before it even starts! THIS is the shirt he is wearing where he throws the rose in the fire. I bet NEITHER of them will get the rose... just you wait. So up they go to the cabin to have a REALLY akward dinner with the table set for 4, Jake, Kathryn, Ella and the rose. First he's off with Ella, where he tries to hint to her that she's not right for him, and then he's off with Kathryn who messes up her time by complaining that he doesn't pay attention to her. And I was so right! He's got a car waiting for both of them. Good job Jake, staying true to what he said about not keeping a girl around if he just wasn't feeling it. Scene ends: Charred rose going up in flames.

Then to the rose ceremony. Ali is so cute in her yellow again. The hubs thinks Jake is looking tired. I agree. This would be exhausting. I think dating one woman would be hard, you know, emotional issues and all the need the confirmation, let alone 8 women! But he does it, talking with all of them, wrapped in some special fuzzy brown blanket of comfort. Jessie's only TV time was her telling him Vienna wasn't right for her. Poor girl. Not a chance. They all line up for the giving out of the roses. Roses 1 and 2 are given to Ali and Corrie (yeah!). Two roses left (3 girls) and he pauses....for a long time. And then a "I'll be right back." Off to find the allknowing Chris for some advice. "So do I have to give out all the roses?" He knows for sure that 2 of those woman are not his wife. So after asking him 12 times if that was his final answer, Chris removes one of the roses. I'm sure the producers of ABC were falling off their chairs with excitement. They couldn't have planned something more exciting. But the biggest shocker is that the last rose goes to VIENNA! Seriously, can any of you tell me what he sees in this girl? So it's goodbye Jessie (sorry we never got to know each other) and goodbye Ashleigh.

So besides Vienna, he really has some sweethearts left! All ladies I would've picked from the beginning. This season is really turning into a good one. Lovin' the girls and actually lovin' the Bachelor. Jake, you've won me over.