And Then There Were Two

To be honest I wasn't planning on making a post about this weeks Bachelor. It was a hard evening. A really energy sucking, patience trying, even shed some tears kind of night. Now that the kids are in bed I just want to curl up on the couch, in the fetal position, stuff myself with sugar and drift off to the absolutely ridiculously unreal life of the Bachelor. I don't feel very funny. Just tired. But a few minutes in I just couldn't help but want to giggle with someone about this show. Like when Chantal is just so surprised that she is going on a safari... what else do you do in South Africa and why else did you and Brad wear matching jungle safari khaki? They were so in awe of all their animal sightings... I wasn't... saw it all on the jungle safari at Disney world. And when Brad AND Chantal both compared this "dangerous" date to the trials in a relationship I just rolled my eyes. Then there was lunch next to the hippos, lovey dovey dinner conversation and then their overnight date in the Swiss Family Robinson tree house. They're in love. It was pretty obvious.

Next day (after an "incredible night" with Chantal) he meets up with Emily. And there's a Bachelor first. He picks her up, not in a fancy car, or helicopter of love, but on an elephant. No biggie, my kids rode an elephant at the fair in Oklahoma. There was lots of talking about him being a dad and some kissing while the elephants made out in the background too (is that what they were doing?) She looked totally hot in her black sparkly mini. I so adore her, and I think Brad adores her too, but just can't get over his nervousness and get comfortable with her. He gave her the fantasy suite card and she told him that she wanted to be a good example to her daughter (high 5 honey!) and that she wanted to keep working on their relationship at their normal slow pace but that she would love to have more time to TALK though. I almost stood up on my ottoman and applauded her class! They're love shack wasn't up in a tree, but it was pretty and was the special place where she told him she was falling in love with him. At first he just sat there, looking down at his lap... I cringed, thinking he was really doubting his feelings for her, but then he looks up, ditches another Bachelor "rule" and tells her he's falling in love with her too. Oh I see heartbreak in their future.

Dr. Ashley arrived in her daisy dukes and Brad leads her to ... the helicopter of love. Ashley begins "freaking out" cuz, true to this seasons theme, she's totally afraid of helicopters... like it's her #1 fear. When they land on top of some mountain Ashley asks, "is this real life?" No sweetie. It's not. Come to my house. I'll show you real life. Over dinner, in between swatting flying bugs, they discussed their future and if it could "mesh." They talked in circles, going nowhere, except to the fantasy suite. The candles and bed didn't help. The serious talks about reality really threw them "off [their] game."

At the rose ceremony the girls are appropriately not in sequiny cocktail dresses. That would've looked silly next to the muddy river. Brad stands up and wiggles around for a bit (did he seem extra squirmy tonight?) before asking Ashley to come talk to him about why their date went so badly. Her answers didn't change things. He told her goodbye and off she went, back to dental school, where I'm sure she has a TON of make up homework to do. Good luck on your boards Dr Ashley! Well that makes the rest of the rose ceremony pretty easy. The two roses left go to the two girls left, Chantal in her cute orange wrap dress and Emily in her weird lycra/jersey tank dress thing.

So yes, bachelor turned my crummy night into a better night. It would've been even better if I had all you good friends here on the couch with me. I'd love to know what friends of mine are watching with me. Leave me a comment, pretty please (just say hi!) and maybe I'll invite you over to sit on my couch with me :)