Just Like Baywatch

What a perfect Valentines night for some Bachelor watching. Nothing says true love like a reality dating show. This week we're in Anguilla, the girls arrive by boat and "It's just like Baywatch or something." Their villa is amazing... of course... white sands and crystal clear blue waters right in their backyard. Chris greets them on their white outdoor sofa. He announces that this week, there will be 3 one on one dates and 1 group date. The first date card reads "3 things I would bring on a deserted island, picnic lunch, champagne and.... Emily." The girls don't look so happy. Brad arrives in his aqua tshirt and flipflops. Emily is in a black bedazzled swimsuit cover and some sandals too. Helicopter of love whisks them away to their own private island/sand bar. From the looks of their wet hair, they've done some swimming. It's about the only thing there is to do on their deserted island. It was just Brad, Emily and a totally 3rd wheel camera guy. But it did leave them plenty of time to talk and and enjoy the appearance of the moon and sun at the same time.

After a quick jump back to the gals villa, to see who got the next date card (it's gonna be Shawntel!!!!), we see Brad and Emily have been brought back to the main island for another romantic dinner on the beach. Brad brings up the home town dates. He wants to know if he'll be able to meet her daughter. She lets out a big sigh. This is something she has been thinking about. And yay for Emily, she isn't to keen on the idea. But Brad, who couldn't propose to a woman that hadn't shared the most important thing in her life with him, pushes a bit farther. He breaks the Bachelor rules and tells her that she's going to get a rose at the next ceremony. "I'm going to your home town date. I don't care about the rules, I care about Emily." Happily Emily frolics with Brad on the beach, and the scene ends with a romantic shot of them making out by moonlight. There are some strong feelings there.

Next date...sigh... as much as I adore Shawntel, I must say I'm in love with Emily. How does Brad do this? She's looking islandy in her sarong and white tank. No exotic helicopters or shopping sprees this time, just some bikes and a farmers market. I love how down to earth she is. They jump rope, dance to the local music, sit down with the locals to play some dominos, drink out of coconuts and I'm in awe at how naturally gorgeous this girl is. While snacking on a blanket, with baby sheep roped up behind them, Shawntel bravely announces to him that she's falling in love with him. That night in her purple off one shoulder tunic dress, they talk about their families, and Brad opens up about his family/dad, and shares things with her that he doesn't even share with his brother. Oh the realness, the friendship, the attraction and the trust he feels with her... now that's marriage material! Suddenly it starts pouring rain and the moment is right for some kissing. But things are interrupted when a party arrives and Bankie Banx arrives (a famous reggae musician) and they be jammin'.

Short break away from the date: Next date card arrives at the villa and it's the last one on one and it's for Britt. Sorry Britt but this is actually the first time I will agree with Michelle... this date is going to tank! I just can't see them...or maybe I should say him, being that into her.

Back to our island lovin'. After some dancing, Brad and Shawntel escape to the ocean, strip off their clothes, and wet their matching tats in the water together. Pretty darn sexy.

So finally it's Britt's turn. She's in an 80s pink sweatshirt and short shorts. As they walk along the beach holding hands I can't help but think she looks more like his preteen daughter than his wife. And again I have to agree with Michelle (what is happening?) when she said "not only do I not see her being his wife, but I don't even see him friending her on Facebook." Hahahaha! Seriously though! Off the odd couple goes on a nice yacht to go cliff jumping. As she stands on the cliff I suddenly realize why she didn't get put on this weeks group date... it's because she would be sooooo awkward on the upcoming sexy photoshoot date. She just seems like a little freshman girl who is love with the hot senior. At dinner that night, she arrives in her mother's orange nightie (an attempt to look sexy?) and after talking about the weather, Brad is done. I think he is the boldest I have ever seen a Bachelor. Though he doesn't have a rose to deny her of, he tells her that she's not right for him and that he's not going to string her along, and then it looked like he was going to toss her off the yacht and make her swim home. But no, there's a little dinghy boat there waiting for her, and it's goodbye Britt!

Now the group date appears to get started in the middle of the night (2:30am to be exact). Brad breaks into the gals room with a flashlight and a morning wake up call. Dazed and confused, Michelle, Ashley and Chantal follow him to a date that Brad claims "millions of women dream of doing." He takes them to a team of bathing suit and boob experts, yes it's the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition staff. Three gorgeous women in nothing but a bikini bottom...this is not what woman dream of, Brad, this is what millions of men dream about. As they flop around in the wet sand, holding conch shells to their chests, I wonder how this is supposed to help them fall more in love? The girls have pretty much forgotten about Brad as they glare at each other. This is one time I am so glad my husband is not here watching this with me. Brad realizes that "today's date is not going well... not as I planned... This was supposed to the ultimate dream date" (Yeah, for you.) So after the awful morning, they're off to A POOL, as if we haven't had enough of them in their swimsuits, where Michelle nervously licks her lips over and over again as Brad tells her they are too much alike, and where I realize that Brad's boobs are bigger than Ashley's, and Chantal talks AGAIN about her insecurities, and I can't see how that spinach green drink could taste good. Yes, this is as Brad put it "the date from hell." And to make a bad date worse, he still has to give out a rose. In an oh so awkward moment he grabs the rose in front of Chantal and Michelle and takes it to Dr Ashley, which brought Chantal to an absolute teary meltdown and Michelle to just stop talking (that takes a lot!). By the end they're just all begging for this date to be over.

Everyone arrives to the rose ceremony in not so formal attire and barefeet. As Brad stares at the gals pictures, Chris arrives and Brad tells him that he wants to break another rule. He doesn't want a cocktail party, but wants to go straight to the rose ceremony. He knows what he wants (and who he doesn't want) and just wants to get to it. So they all line up on the beach and the roses go to: practically perfect in every way Emily, my girl Shawntel and (is it emotional wreck Chantal or camera happy Michelle? I really don't know this time!)....It's Chantal! HALLELUAH! It's goodbye Michelle! I wish I could say I'm happy I'll never see this girl again but unfortunately around here (in UT) Michelle is on billboards and commercials galore. They take the walk of shame to the goodbye limo and instead of the goodbye peptalk, she shuts him down, doesn't want to talk at all, and hops into the limo. She doesn't offer any words to the always there interviewer either and instead lays down on the seat and lets one tear drop. Not what I expected. Didn't you all think we were going to see a female version of Wes' exit?

So next week we're off to see the girls hometowns. This is always my favorite episode! Til' next week!