Men Tell Nothin' New

We're greeted by Chris and an audience of women... and a very few faithful husbands (I wonder if my hubby would go with me if I scored tickets?).  Before seeing the old Bachelors, Chris sits down with Emily (in a darling pink tank dress and fun turquoise earrings) and we review, again, the whole season.  It woulda been really boring had they not slipped in the "never seen footage" from some of the dates.  Ha!  That's what I'm talking about.  I've said it before and I'll say it again (and I'm sure again) but they should ditch the Men Tell All portion and just do 2 hours of bloopers and things!  That'd be awesome.

Then we have to endure a LOOOOONG commercial for the Bachelor Pad.  Trash.  I fast forwarded most of it.  Who would want to watch another season with Cologne and Squinty Eyed Chris?  ugh.

So we introduce everyone again, some I barely remember and did you see Squinty Eyed Chris actually pucker and do the pouty face for the camera?  creepy.  Then there was lots of arguing.  That went on for a long time.  Next there was a long, un-informative interview with Cologne.  Yep, truly a jerk.  Then it was Ryan's turn to look like the "arrogant bleep" that we were sure he was.  Squinty Eyed Chris was next.  Almost fast forwarded it.  I don't like him.  Why can't he move his neck?!  Like a stiff doll.  And he's boring.  Our Genetic Gift got his chance in the "hot seat" too.  He confirmed that he is perfect.  What a darling, sensitive, solid man.  I'd be okay with him as the next Bachelor... maybe see his fun side.  But it would probably ruin him.

Of course they had to bring Emily out and put her in the awkward spot.  She was sweet to Our Genetic Gift and left no room for anyone to think Cologne was anything but a maggot.  And I tired of her playing with her new extensions.  But she did look happy.

Finally what we were all waiting for...Bloopers!  There was trees falling, lots of streaking (did you catch Daddy Doug's HUGE tatt on his back!), tripping, motorcycle crashing, and lots of windy shots.  Way too short.  Actually disappointing.  And then to wrap it all, we're given nothin'.  Like no, "Emily are you happy now?" sort of thing.  Just a review on the two remaining dudes, Arie and Jefy.  Who will it be!?  I can't wait until Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!