Another Season!

Wasn't gonna blog about ol' Bachelor, but I just can't help it... I just have all these snide remarks in my head.  No one is home to hear them.  Blog = outlet.  We begin with lots of shirtless shots of our new Bachelor Sean or is it Shawn?  Then there's a trip home to see what a great "family man" he is.  Now a trip down memory lane, as we relive his Emily flop.  Before we get to meet the ladies, we have to endure a weird (abc thought up) reunion between our Bachelor and Arie the race car driver.  Okay, so there were some funny comments between the two of them, but really, we didn't need it.  Especially watching Arie give tips on french kissing.  ew.

Finally it's time to meet our, guaranteed absolutely nutty, Bachelorettes.  Desiree has a sweet face, but lives in a world of wedding dresses (that's gotta mess with a single girls mind).  I loved that she hit the chandelier with her bouquet.  awesome.  Tierra, is WAAAAAAAAAY excited that Sean is the Bachelor.  Robynnn is intense and learning Spanish.   Diana, is from Utah (oh no) and has two cute daughters.  Sarah has one arm, so I can't make fun of her.  Ashley, has no idea why she's still single, but I do, she's crazy and is disgustingly obsessed with "50 Shades of Grey."  Tacky.  Lesley, is a southerner stuck in Washington DC.  Kristy is a model.  Next.  AshlEEEE is a professional organizer (let's all say OCD) but has a sweet story of being adopted after being through foster care for a few years. 

So those are our snippets, now onto the driveway of absolute embarassment.  And the limos arrive with perky, excited girls.  AshLEEEEEE is our first out and she's actually really pretty in a hot red dress.  Jackie, put her mark (a set of red lips) on Sean's cheek.  Selma, used her cleavage tissue to wipe off his kiss mark.  Leslie, boring.  Daniella needs a new hairdresser and a better hello than a really long weird handshake.  Kelly, has A LOT of makeup on, a bad spray tan, and a lotta guts to belt out a terrible made up song.  Katie, chose to go shoeless and taught him some yoga moves.  Ashley, our nasty 50 Shades of Grey gal stupidly assumes our Bachelor has read her favorite book (and comes off looking well, nasty).  Taryn says she hasn't watched the Bachelor... yeah right.  Catherine, happy.  Robynn thought she'd do gymnastics in her ball gown.  Flop.  Literally.  Lacey, just call her Lace is very blonde.  Paige was once a Bachelor Pad contestant.  fame hungry?  Tierra, still sooooo excited to meet him, and I guess he liked what he saw cuz he went in for a rose for her.  Amanda,  forced a weird silent pause (cue crickets....), Desiree, reminds me of Katie Holmes, brought pennies to make a wish in the fountain.  Cute and sweet.  Maybe a favorite so far.  Sarah, Brooke, Diana nothin' too exciting.  Lesley brings a football.  Kristy our model actually looks like she could be a cross dresser.  Actually so did the next model, didn't catch her name.  Uh oh... Lindsey thought it would be a good idea to show up in a wedding dress and plant a kiss on him right off.  And just when we thought they were all out of the limos and in the mansion, another limo arrives carrying a 26th Bachelorette.  It's Kacie!  From Ben's season.  I loved her then and she looks super hot tonight!  I'd root for her.

Now the cattiness and alcohol are free flowin'.  Desiree, my new favorite, got the 1st or I guess its the 2nd (?) impression rose.  Oh wait, he's just handing out roses left and right.  And the claws are coming out.  12 roses were handed out BEFORE the rose ceremony.  So the gals that had to wait for their roses to be handed to them at the rose ceremony are, Amanda (the awkward pause girl), Lesley (our politician from DC), Kacie (from the past Bachelor, yay!), Kristy (the model cross dresser), Daniella, Taryn (who thought she was doomed cuz she never got a chance to talk to him), and surprisingly Lindsey (our wedding dress drunk disaster).   Another season of fun ahead!!