Does Bachelor Ben Smell Love?

Why must we always start things off watching the Bachelor get dressed?  I didn't need to know that he's wearing tighty whities (well, blue ones).  First Group Date: Jackie, LB, Lauren H, Becca, Amber, Mandi Jo Jo, Jubilee, Jennifer and Lace.    Ben's taking them back to high school.  Maybe they did know the theme for this date before going because all the outfits they're wearing are straight out of high school.  Come on girls, for a first date, try something more unique or classy.  There's science projects, bobbing for apples, an embarrassing geography lesson, PE and finally some hurdles to win the chance to be homecoming queen.  Crazy Dr Mandi won it all.  But it looks like that just means they get to drive around the stadium a few times in a nice topless mustang. Whoo hoo.

That night Ben went in for a first kiss with Jackie! Looks like he thinks he's ready for the physical stuff to begin… because he knows them SO much better now.  And I've decided Lace reminds me of an even less likable Kristen Stewart.  I don't know if its the way she looks or the way she talks through her teeth instead of actually opening her mouth.  Jubilee is looking bootylishous in her purple lycra.  Jo Jo pulled a Maria Vontrapp move and made her dress out of the pale blue curtains in her room last night (awful material, awful fit!), but what a place for a first kiss, looking out at the entire city, so romantic, if you avoid the fact that he kissed another girl a few minutes before.  And JoJo gets the rose.

Next Date Card: Caila wins the first one on one date.  Though it wasn't technically one on one since Ice Cube and Kevin Hart got to go along too.  Basically it was just one big advertisement for their new movie Ride Along.  They kept it classy with road side flowers, a liquor store and a romantic dip in a spa… that's still in the store… with Kevin Hart.  Basically a repeat of the date with Chris Soules and Jimmy Kimmel (remember Costco and a hot tub scene with him?).  Finally they got to ditch the Ride Along crew.  Caila is the sweet, happy kind of pretty… like her goodness inside oozes out and shines through making her even prettier than she is.  The best kind of pretty.  And I'm thinking the food on their table is a prop, cuz they never ever took a bite and left it untouched on the table after she got the rose.  I hope they got to eat some real food at some point.  They ended things with their own Amos Lee concert, Ben singing to her as they danced and some kissing.  Definitely a great ending to their date.

Then its the next group date with Emily, Shushanna, Sam, Olivia, Haley, Amanda and this group is off to the love lab.  They will all be tested on the "science"that makes up love.  First they stick them in matching white tanks and itty bitty shorts, then plop them on a treadmill to exercise so Ben could check out their odor.  Bet they were are praying their deodorant was working.  Next the computers checked their thermal reactions to being with each other.  And the winner was Olivia, who is going to end up catching a fly in that big wide frog mouth of hers.  Apparently the science proves that Ben and Olivia have the best chance at love, but let's be honest, all those test show is that they have chemistry, and that's just piece of being in love.  Poor Sam was just plain ol' sour, her smell and about low her score was.

That evening Olivia made sure they continued where they left off at the love lab and got her kiss.  I'm sure Ben spent some time trying to figure out ways to distinguish between the DoubleMint Twins.  Shushanna really does speak English!!  Digging her legit Russian accent.  And I think Amanda wins for the best dress.  Loved the soft pink lacey ensemble.  That and her nice talk about her littles won her some smooches.  And yet the rose went to increasingly annoying Olivia.

Cocktail party, Olivia stole him away for some kissing which ticked off lots of girls.  Lace continues to let the crazy show as well as the tape holding her dress straps on.  Lauren B received a sweet gift of a picture of the two of them on the first night from Ben.  I really want her to get a one on one date, cuz I want to get to know her better, oh and I want Ben to get to know her better too.  Then he gave a gift to  Lauren H too.  And the gifts keep coming!  For Amanda he thought they'd make some rose hair clips for their…oops I mean HER girls.  Wouldn't he make a cute family man!  We (me and Amanda) may have gotten a little teary at such a sweet gesture.  Did he sit down with some producer lady and ask for sweet ideas for unique gifts for each girl, or is he really that darling?

And the roses go to:  Amanda in sparkly gold, Jubilee in black velvet, Lauren B in a yellow lace bib, Leah in boring black, Becca who rocks everything she wears, Rachel (oh is she still here?), crazy taped up Lace, LB that gorgeous Okie….. who decided NOT to take a rose?!!!  Say what?!  NO, she was lovely!  How does he shake that off?   Ben you are lovable!  Don't let that get to you!  Then he's right back to handing out roses.  Jennifer in a weirdly cut fuchsia dress, Emily or was it Haley (does it matter? They both got a rose anyway. I want to see a two on one date with those two!!  Wouldn't that be awesome TV, to see him have to pick between the two!), Jamie, Lauren H in super yellow, Shushanna who has had a fabulous melt done on her hair, and Amber, who I'm pretty sure got the, I guess I'll pick you now that LB left, rose.

So "ladies I'm sorry" the goodbyes are for a girl in pink, the crazy dentist Mandi and stinky Sam.

Next week I'm hoping Olivia keeps her dang mouth closed, Lace doesn't get a rose and that Amanda and Lauren B get the one on one dates!  What are you hoping for?