A Sunset Swim With Jake

At the beginning we went through a review of the girls left, narrated by Jake. This was followed up by an update on Ali, living her now so sad and loveless life in San Fran without Jake. She sits up in bed and glances at the, printed off by ABC, glossy 8x10 pics of Jake. She's determined to tell Jake how she feels (so she IS attempting an Ed return!)

But first we're off to St Lucia, where his first date is with Gia. They take a boat over to the local village where the natives were trying to sell them anything, and just enjoyed the local flava. They stopped to listen to a guy drum and Gia shook her rhythmic booty while Jake looked like an awkward duck. Then they decided to go on a sunset swim, a perfect day, a perfect evening and her perfect body.

For dinner Gia arrives in her tiara for her candle light dinner on the beach. Jake says he wants to take care of Gia, wants to create a feeling of being perfectly safe... but problem is, she's not. That's the thing. He does love 2 (maybe 3) other girls. It seemed so weird, because over dinner Jake begins spilling his heart, his feelings about love and marriage and how devoted he would be as a husband... and she just listened. Usually it's flipped. This may be her falling out. He likes to be reassured and petted (I'm positive that's how Vienna made it this far). And Gia just isn't really giving him that. After dinner they go out on a hammock, by candlight, and sway over the ocean. Who comes up with these things! In some hidden pocket in the hammock is a card from Chris Harrison, inviting them to their overnight suite... so suddenly they're in a rose covered bubble bath...and well, that's all we need to see, or think about.

Day #2 is with Tenley. No I'm not offended if you think I look or act like Tenley. I'll take it as a compliment. Though I'll tell you now, my calves look nothing like hers and I really hope I don't talk like her. Anyway, first we take a trip in the helicopter of love (I knew there had to be one more before the season ended) to a sugar mill for a picnic. They sit down and she asks one darn good question: "How will you pursue me outside in the real world? Will we have picnics? Will we go to exotic places?" Oh Tenley I think the fact that you've been married before makes you so wise. She knows this isn't real life. "I can see us together" says Tenley. Oh I can see you together too. I think they would make a marriage work and they would be happy. They're just both GOOD people, concerned about others and just nice. Sunset #2 and Jake's kissing in the water with Girl #2. Over dinner Tenley pours her heart to him, which wins her a dance by moonlight.... which I'm sure he was hoping would win him a yes from her for the over night date. Before he hands her the invite from Chris he pauses and says "I'm really excited about this, I'm really excited"... yeah NO KIDDING dude. "One of the things I just love about you are your values and your morals, but drop them and come sleep with me." (okay I added that last part). Whatever Jake. That's all I'm gonna say about that.

Day #3 is our favorite, Vienna. She shows up in her floral mu mu and they're off on a pirate ship. There was lots of pirate-ing, licking (don't ask!) and climbing things. Jake declares, "So what if she's a little immature"? They can get married and "mature together." Good luck with that one Jake. They do have a great time together though, I'll give them that. And then there was swimming and kissing at Sunset #3 with Girl #3. Dinner was in a cazebo where he dived into questions to determine whether their relationship is more than sexual. He also asked her what kind of wedding ring she would like. Oh no! Is this a sign of things to come? She's just so good at letting him know how she feels. He feels secure with her. He feels appreciated. So of course she accepted the overnight card when he pulls it out, and they head over to their room. She proclaims that she wants to show him another more elegant side of her and she slips into a skimpy white neglige'. Yes, showing the nation your choice in lingerie is very elegant honey.

Now we're finally going to see what they've been teasing us about between every commercial... the call from Ali! She begged and he "processed". "When you drove away, you drove away with a piece of my heart" says Jake, a nice thing to say, but it was followed by some brutally harsh words about how he's gone on without her and put his feelings for her aside. And the teaser was just that A TOTAL TEASE! He tells her no, that she can't come back. And we see her weep again.

Before the rose ceremony Jake sits with Chris and they glance over at the 3 pictures of the girls, and whoa, they are all so different. He doesn't head to the rose ceremony until he watches his "very private" (yet shown to all of America) videos from each of the ladies. Lots of love proclaimed and then he's off to give 2 roses. First rose goes to Tenley!! WHoo hoo! And the second is to... drumroll (or guitar solo)... Vienna (I wrote it even before I heard him say it). Oh Gia, girl you are SOOOOO much prettier than Vienna!!! But I do agree in that she may not be the right girl for Jake. I hope she's the next Bachelorette. Oh the breakup, oh so sad. She was so graceful about it. I sure hope she finds love (maybe on national TV so we can all watch)!!!

Now on to the teaser, the usual "I know I'm choosing the right gal" was no where to be seen. We just see both Tenley and Vienna crying as we hear him saying that he just couldn't choose one if he wasn't 100 percent sure that she WAS the right one, and that he couldn't believe he was going to do this. So do you think this is just another tease, or is Jake gonna shake things up again and in Jake fashion, do things his way, maybe not choosing anyone til he is ready?

But before we get to the good drama, next week we have to suffer through the cat-fight like Girls Tell All show. Not a fan of that one.