Shaggy is Back

And it begins again. Did you know I've been watching the Bachelor since the very first episode, like 10 years ago? The first Bachelor (Alex) was nasty. I'm gonna try to repeat to myself this season, "Ben is better than the Alex" over and over again. Looking for the positive.

So we start in the usual fashion, with the attempted sexy shots of Ben... not so sexy. We see Ben in his topless Bronco. Ben driving his tractor. Ben in his vineyard. Ben playing the piano (oddly its in the vineyard). Ben talking about how life would be better with a good woman. Yes abc, we know you're trying to convince us that he is such a catch.

Then there's the quick intros for a few of the girls. Lindzi the heavily eyelined horserider, Amber the pretty chick with a rifle, Kasey WHO I LOVE (she's my pick!), Courtney the totally self absorbed model, Jamie who wins the "best heart-string-pulling story" (she's had custody of her younger siblings since she was young), Lyndsie who may not have the prettiest face but with all those crazy costumes from around the world she may be totally interesting, the blogging chick, Shawn the curvy mom and Nicki the token divorcee.

I wish we could get to see snippets on all the girls. That's way more interesting than some cat fight between a few girls that we know will be coming once the alcohol gets sucked down by all these light weights. But instead of more girls we get to watch Ben get dressed? Ben is dressed. Girls are dressed. And now it's time to meet. Chris Harrison's hair is kinda big and messy. Now why is it that when a girl becomes the new Bachelorette she gets a make over for the show but when Shaggy Ben becomes the Bachelor they didn't even set him up for a trim or a better shave?

And now with the driveway watered down and the flowers covering every square inch, the limos begin to arrive. And how did the girls choose to stand out? Wear a dress that's held together with strips of lace, call yourself the bacon-ator, totally forget what you were planning on saying, brush your fingers through Ben's shaggy hair, make Ben rub sanitizer on his hands then plant a kiss on him, wear your pageant sash, walk right by Ben without even a hello, where a huge Derby hat, bring your Grandma along and last but certainly not least, skip the limo and ride on in on the back of horse!

And onto the cocktail party: Snippets of all the girls talking about how cute and wonderful Ben is, (still not convincing me), Grandma sent off in her limo (she starts us off with the first tears in the limo), a soccer game in a dress that's about to fall off, Ben gets snack time from a gal feeding him candy blindfolded, a white girl rap, and LOTS of lame drama between two very annoying girls.

And the rosese went to: Lindzi the horse rider (got the first impression rose), Nurse Jamie, Snaggle Toothed Rachel with her weird piercings, Blakely and her bad veneers, Emily the germ phobic rapper, Sweet Southern Kasey (my girl!!), Casey who I know nothing about, Brittney minus Grandma, Erica whose lace dress left no room for the imagination, curvacious Mama Shawn, Nicki, red headed Jennifer, Elise, Miss Pacific Palisades Samantha, Courtney the I'm-gonna-be-the-big-drama-this-season model, Jacquelin, Monica who seems more into the gals then the guy, and I-spent-hours-crying-in-the-bathroom Jenna.

What a bunch. The craziness is always abundant. So are the hair extensions.