Fear Factor: Bachelor Edition

Welcome back to Fear Factor: Bachelor Edition. But we'll get to that in a minute. First we start off in the gals LA pad. Seriously, there has been a change in the Chris Harrison wardrobe department. Last week was a cozy cardigan and this week its a light blue striped dress shirt with flowered french cuffs and fancy double buttons running down the front. kinda weird. But he has some exciting news. Chris announces that we're switching it up, there's a one on one date, a group date and the dreaded two on one date (where one of the girls will not be coming home). GASP! And that's not all. In 1 hour they're on their way to fabulous (or in my opinion filthy) Las Vegas. Happy shrieks! So after a quick flight their limo takes them to their hotel (the Aria) where they're greeted by Brad. Okay, so I know I've mentioned how overrated this city is, but there was nothing overrated about the hotel suite they got. Wow! After running and squealing around the room, Brad pulls out the date card. It's the one on one date. Michelle jumps for the opportunity for a bit more camera time and grabs the card. Her and her obscenely large round ring read the card. It's for Shawntel! Wha hoo!

Brad comes to pick Shawntel up in an awful cowboy outfit, black checkered shirt and a dorky black vest, dude you're in Vegas not Dallas. Shawntel is in some short short shorts and an off one shoulder pink sweater (kinda flash dance style). They start off their date... going shopping! Oooh that is fun! I actually got to do this in Vegas with my sweet hubby when we were dating.... though I didn't have the unlimited credit card that they do... and it was so fun. Looks like they're having a great time (how could you not!). She picked out a HAWT black dress to wear for the night. Ooh and color me green when I saw Brad pile all her huge shopping bags on her arms. "Yeah, this is real love" exclaims Shawntel... or is it just that happy giddy feeling you get when spending an exorbant amount of someone elses money?

Then we cut back to the gals at the super suite where they're talking about Shawntel and her chances with Brad. That's when she and her 20 big colorful shopping bags arrive. I could see I wasn't the only jealous one. They all drooled over all the things she pulled out. Loved the rockin' black heels, but $5000 for that not so cute clutch...hmmmm. But the date didn't end there. A little while later Mr Brad lets himself into the suite to pick up Shawntel for the rest of their date. Grumpy girls are a little put out by how great this date is and don't give Brad their usual peppy hellos and hugs. They all watch their boyfriend compliment another woman on how great she looks and bitterly say goodbye.

Off they go to see the lights of the city and have dinner on the roof (this show sure likes roofs) of their hotel. Shawntel is a bit nervous to discuss her job... as an embalmer. I don't think she should be nervous, it's a cool job, but I'm not so sure talking about cleaning out dead bodies over dinner is the best place to do it. But Brad said he's fascinated. "I think you're the hotest funeral director I've ever met" Amen to that. I totally loved their dinner conversation (involving lots of words like orfaces, leakage, and incisions)... maybe it's because my own dinner conversations often revolve around some sort of blood, puss or surgery. There was so much laughter and reality to it. So despite the fact that Brad was looking a little green and may or may not have finished his own meal, he had a great time and gave my girl Shawntel the rose. And then right on cue the fireworks erupt overhead. Sorry Michelle but Shawntel got your fireworks (I'm doing the spirit fingers over my head) and the kiss to go with them. Go Shawntel.

Now the group date card arrives: Jackie, Emily, Lisa, Marissa, Alli, Chantal, Britt and Michelle. That means the two Ashley's will be going on the two on one date together... and the tears start to flow, cuz "we're best friends!" (so much so that apparently they got matching rose tattoos on their ankles while in Vegas). Michelle decides to be optimistic and hopes that both of them will end up going home.

So this is where our Fear Factor portion of the episode begins. The group date is going where?... to the worst place on earth for poor little Emily... the Las Vegas Nascar race track, the place where her dead fiance raced and had his career ending crash. Really abc? Anything for ratings right? The girls aren't just here to watch some races. They're going to get to drive the race cars. Of course we had to have the slow motion, girls in race car uniforms, hair blowing in the wind all looking sexy scene and then cut to Emily, biting her lip and trying to appear to be having a good time. Brad picks up (or someone finally clued him in) on the fact that something is wrong with Emily. He doesn't know about Emily's association with Nascar. "I feel like jerk" and I hope abc does too. But Emily is the epitome of grace and strength and tries to turn the situation into a positive one. She gets in the race car, fiddles with her huge pink (what I assume to be) engagement ring, and the tears start to fall. Oh curse you abc. This is just cruel. Brad tells her she doesn't have to do this but she is going to make this a growing experience, one that will help her move on. I cheered her on as she made her last lap.

After the races the ladies head to a party (did you notice the POOL?) for drinks, a yummy looking spread of food and an overdose of tears. As soon as they get there Brad takes Emily aside, again... which ticks off some of the shallow girls. Brad is realizing that he's got some huge shoes to fill by getting into a relationship with Emily. He also realizes that he needs to give some of the other girls some one on one time too: first there's Alli and her "it's hard to feel special" crying, then Chantal drops the love word... and more crying, and then Michelle and her nastiness, but I don't want to give her any more time on my blog... she gets enough exposure on the show. OH I can't stand her. blah. And after it all, I must give Brad props for pulling Emily aside AGAIN, despite all the catty remarks from all the girls, and gave her the rose, not because of Nascar, not because of her sad story, but because he likes her. I just wish Emily would have broken character, tossed aside her southern charm shyness and kissed him long and hard. No more of these sweet hugs.. Girl you gotta compete!

Now on to the Ashley twins date. They're both in their satin minis and off to see an Elvis inspired Cirque Du Soleil. They have to learn some of the routine and ONE of them will get to perform in the show that night, flying through the air Peter Pan style (the one who ends up with the rose). Did anyone else get a flash back to Alli's season in NY where they did this same date at the Lion King performance? I didn't like it then and I didn't like it tonight. So after getting back into their cocktail dresses they sat down to dinner and everyone their looks more like throwing up instead of eating. I think it's the single rose, staring at them in the face. He compliments both of them and picks up the rose and declares that Dr. Ashley is the winner. There are gasps back at the suite when the burly, scary guy picks up the other Ashley's bag and takes it out. Cue Elvis's "Are You Lonesome Tonight" while Ashley weeps in the limo.

Oh heavens, not ANOTHER date with therapist Jamie. Blah blah blah. Did anyone else notice that Dr Jamie doesn't have a wedding ring on? So Mr Love may not know how to apply his own profound wisdom. Can we somehow vote to NOT see this guy anymore? I think sweet Chris Harrison does just as good of a job. Let's just stick to him.

Brad opens the cocktail party with a declaration that "I just don't need drama in my life." Didn't he do this show before? But his message is clear. Stop with all the tears ladies! To Chantal he says, "stop giving me so much crap," for Alli and her "I don't feel special" syndrome he brings her a little mini cake with green ribbon because she was wearing green the first night he met her, Marissa in her crown gave him some notes, cuz she's a note writer, Michelle in her zebra dress, strokes him and purrs lies into his ears, oh, wait I'm not going to talk about that nasty filthy .... Anyhoo, onto the rose ceremony, roses go to Michelle, Alli who is so special, his pal Britt, boring Jackie, and emotional Chantal. So it's goodbye Marissa and her tiara and Lisa... Did we ever hear a single word from Lisa? And despite the abundance of limos in Vegas these poor girls have to grab themselves a cab.

So I must declare I have a new favorite. Shawntel in my vote! Emily is awesome, but after watching the teaser closely I'm pretty sure she doesn't make it much longer. Looks like Dr Ashley may make it pretty far too. So do you think this is the "most controversial Bachelor season ever?"