No More Sunshine

Okay so I've been super busy celebrating the 4th, having friends visit from out of town, my sister and her family came to stay with us, a 13 hour road trip to California to see my parents and sisters and a 12 hour drive back. Needless to say, the Bachelorette actually slipped my mind. But I finally did get to it thanks to Hulu.

So things started with an advertisement worth of gorgeous shots of Taiwan. Ashley is again, slowly sauntering through the city, this time in a colorful pleated mini and a tank. She gives a brief and extremely vague over view on how's she's feeling about each of the guys... basically, they're all real nice. Thanks for the insight.

And the first date goes to Shaggy Constantine. But first we must watch him get dressed and hear how hard JP is taking this whole experience. He's ready to head to the chapel right now with Ashley. But we've got SOOO much more fun heartbreak to go dear JP... so hold on tight. Ashley picks Shaggy #1 up in her couldn't-get-any-tighter jeggings and a mud colored shirt, that maybe some wild Taiwanese animal took a bite out of the back. They hop a love train (no helicopters of love yet this season?!) to a little village where they decorate their own wish lantern that they will send off into the universe later on. Over dinner we get to know Shaggy a little more, and I must admit, I like this guy. He's real, he's casual and I think he's got a great attitude about falling in love. Happy feelings when they let their love lantern go and I must admit the Tangled knock off scene was quite romantic. He deserved the kisses he got.

Date #2 goes to Shaggy #2 Ben. I'm not sure if Ashley knew her date was today cuz she's quite underdressed in a fuchsia tank and short jean shorts. But I guess their scooter transportation kind of goes along with this casual feel. So with a Dumb and Dumber flare they sped through a GORGEOUS gorge and ended up kissing on a bridge. Later that night Ashley arrives in a bright green one shoulder satin top and a black tutu. Over dinner we get another great talk with Shaggy 2. I can see why she likes him. Totally not my flavor in looks but like Constantine, he's real and casual and funny. And I really do think he's falling for our Ashley. We finish up watching them makeout. Apparently she couldn't get enough of him, cuz the next morning he still hadn't come back to the Bachelor pad. But lo and behold, a few hours before the group date was to begin Ben saunters through the door in the WORST outfit ever... shorts, a teal shirt, topped with a weird striped suit coat and white beret. Maybe he and Ashley are a clothes mis-match made in heaven.

So now we're onto a group date with Ken Doll Head man, Boring Lucas and totally irate JP. And because Ashley didn't learn that wedding dates are totally not a good thing to do, they all head to the wedding picture block of Taiwan for some wedding photo shoots. Thank goodness there will be some costume changes and we will no longer be forced to see her in another awful floral mini skirt. Lucas gets the traditional Taiwan tux aka a golden robe. Ames comes out in his 1975 Wedding Day Ken doll outfit... perfect for him. And JP gets the normal black tux. So for hours they all got to stand in front of awful creased up backdrops and watch each other kiss Ashley. Poor JP is slowly imploding. Afterward Ashley dressed up in her bright green belted mini dress and followed the guys into a room set up with their totally awful wedding pictures, memories of their totally awful date. Lucas got some one on one time to talk about his divorce, Ken Doll man tried to impress her with his fuchsia trousers (what?!) and JP bonded with Ashley by sounding just as pathetic as she does and it won him the rose.

And finally my buddy Sunshine gets his one on one! He arrives in a pink button up shirt and she's in some white guess jeans and an almost falling off bright blue backless shirt (it actually looked a lot like a baby bjorn from the back). She's got a bit too much skin showing for a walk around a sacred temple full of lots of people praying in my opinion. The conversation seems a bit, well, first date-ish. I can see it in her body language, she's not totally digging our Sunshine. And over lunch and a conversation about water heaters, she sees it, she knows they're not meant to be. And instead of waiting til the rose ceremony, she tells Ryan there, that he's not her sunshine. And then the saddest goodbye speech ever is delivered to the cameras, straight from his sweet broken heart. He talks of his longing for love and marriage and kids. Sunshine, if you're reading this, buddy you will find it. You got the whole package and some girl will see it! Hope it's soon. Actually, if you're reading this, my husband thinks we should set you up with his gorgeous single sister. Let me know if you're interested!

Anyway, now we're going straight to the rose ceremony... no cocktail party needed. She is certain about her decision, and I'm certain she should've decided on another dress. Again, weird cutouts and a mousy nude color. No bueno. So Chris lines the guys up announces that the rose ceremony is going to happen now (while Ashley slowly and a bit creepily, walks across a bridge behind them). And the roses go to the Shaggy duo and Ken Doll Head. It's goodbye Lucas. Not sad about that.

Now the Ashley portion of the show is over and the rest of the episode was dedicated to listening to Emily cry about her breakup with Brad. Anyone else heard rumors that they're gonna have Emily be the next Bachelorette? Personally I've had enough of her.