Who Is Dressing Ashley?

Monday has arrived and so has my auntie Karen and cousin Kara and we're all ready to watch the drama unfold (or hopefully the lack of... I'm exhausted from last week!) It begins with Chris, sleeves cuffed, hair a little extra messier than usual, and he's NOT here to leave a date card but to drop off a little surprise... they're leaving for good to Thailand! Yay! High fives and hugs are shared by all the guys.

Phuket Thailand and Ashley is lounging in her white bikini dreaming of how things would've been with Bentley. Should we count and see how many times this heartbroken girl mentions his name? Bentley 1 Bentley 2 Bentley 3. After her boat ride she's off to talk to Annie, the hotel concierge, about what she should do with 12 different guys on dates. Innocent Annie is shocked by this odd situation. I'm shocked by Ashley's choice of shoes to go with her white tank and bright red short shorts! To quote my Aunt, "they look like Minnie mouse shoes." Amen. Some flip flops would've been much better. Well, then guys arrive and check out their pretty dang awesome pad. And the first date card goes to Constantine.

Constantine, he's one of the really shaggy guys. It's raining pretty hard and Ashley meets him with an umbrella and a striped tank, tiny shorts and a long drapey sweater. Little Thai guy tries to tell them in subtitles that they can't do the planned date because the "waves too big" so they have to come up with something else to do. So this pretty normal guy gets a pretty normal date. Nothing too exciting here. They went shopping, they randomly meet an old man, they find a pretty Thai girl to translate old man's love wisdom, they do find some beers, and talk about how this experience "is not about winning, its not just a free trip around the world." (and she mentions...Bentley 4). For their night time date, she has had time to switch into a belted strapless mu mu (which she spent all night tugging on), and had dinner on the beach. She didn't have time to blow dry her hair though. Of course, why should she have. That humidity is killing any chance for having good hair this episode. She sipped wine and talked about .... uh, I'm not really sure because I was distracted by how I didn't like his long nappy hair and her HUGE turquoise ring. But apparently the conversation was enough to give him a rose... but not enough to get more than a high 5... no kisses.

Next we're off on our group date with Ben F, JP, Blake, Mickey, West, Ben C, Nick, Lucas, William and Ryan. (Bentley 5, 6 & 7) And despite the absolute meanness of the rest of this show, this date was pretty touching. She brought the guys to an orphanage (kids that lost parents in the 2004 Tsunami) and told them that they're going to be doing some service, some painting, putting up soccer fields, planting etc. Not sure why Ashley needs to be wearing some big bulky military boots to accomplish these tasks, but whatever, I've accepted that her wardrobe choices are little off. I'll blame the heartbreak. Well everyone happily goes to work, with love in their hearts and some frustration with Happy Ryan grating their nerves. Ashley kinda mopes because they're actually focused on the task at hand instead of flirting with her. But Shaggy Ben has drawn an elephant mural and invites her to paint the flowers and this is enough attention to perk her up a bit. (Bentley 8) Afterward they head to a beach bar for drinks. She's in a mud colored crocheted doily cover up and pink grandma sling back pumps. The elephant mural scores Ben F some good one on one time that included lots of flirting and kissing (which he emphasized with an odd "ruh row" Scooby Do Style). The guys were busy talking about how upset they are with Ryan but I think William said it best, that "it is because of the intimidation factor" that makes them pick on him. (Bentley 9) Next is some one on one time with JP, on the beach, under an umbrella. I just think he's so sincere and great, and apparently a fabulous kisser. Ashley shows up to give out the rose but seconds before, Ryan stops her and steals here away. Sorry Ryan, but bad move. I want the boys to like you too. It didn't help his case and Ben F got the rose. Sad faces from JP and Ryan.

Now the last one on one date was with Plastic Head Man (Ames) and they're off on a boat to see some seriously jaw dropping scenery. Ya know, I wasn't much a fan of this disfigured Ken Doll going into this date but after listening to him talk about how he came to a cooking school in Thailand on a whim, and has traveled to 70 countries and ran 39 marathons, ya know I'd keep him around just for some good conversation. Ashley in her wardrobe funk has chosen to wear a blue tank top and an ugly white and green leafed sarong. But really who was looking at her outfit when you get to kayak around in the most amazing coves. They stopped for some champagne on the beach and (Bentley 9) talked. Afterward they cleaned up and she chose to wear a royal blue off the shoulder piece of cloth and short shorts. (Bentley 10 & 11) I think Ames is starting to fall for her. And she has realized he's got a great sense of humor. They both think they are very alike, both "nerdy." "He seems to have some depth to him" and actually I agree with you Ashley. Put a sack over his head and he'd be great! And he scores himself a rose.

Ashley shows up at the cocktail party in her first decent outfit, a khaki and brown striped tank dress. (Bentley 12 & 13) Lucas finally gets some camera time and we learn that he's divorced. That's about it. The other guys are still sitting around being annoyed with the "always happy" Ryan. Dr. Blake decides to tell Ryan how they're all feeling about his constant happiness and energy and I can't help but feel sorry for Ryan. He had no idea. And then to top it off Ashley pulls him aside and asks him about his overflowing sunshine. He just explains that it is just who he is... and I can say from personal experience... that really is who he is. He REALLY is that happy and nice, all the time. Really. He just feels there is so much about living to be happy about... though I didn't really understand the conversation jump to the troops in Afghanistan.

Then Chris meets up with Ashley with a portable shelf of pictures staring at them from behind. (Bentley 14 & 15) She wants to break the rules and ADD a rose to the pile... doesn't want to make any more mistakes and send someone home that might surprise her down the road. Chris agrees and adds a boutonniere to the pile. She walks in and the grins explode on everyone's face. And the winners are: Lucas (surprised she kept you), Sunshine, JP, Nick (do we know ANYTHING about Mr Florida?), Mickey, Dr. Blake, William (good choice to stay quiet for awhile) and Ben C. Bye Bye West. I like this decision. You were shady.

Next week we're still in Thailand and we're gonna get another dose of Bentley. The thought exhausts me.